Mr. Boy had methotrexate injected into his spinal column today, one element of his chemotherapy. That process is painful and he'll be sore for a few days. We're getting used to the routine of him being in cancer treatment. We Skype before the doctors round on the patients, because after that, his day in the hospital is full of constant interruptions. Sometimes we talk later, but we don't have deep conversations after 8AM.
It's hard to find the kind of support we're looking for. Most support for cancer patients and their families focuses on hope. What's important is that you have a positive attitude, there's a chance you could beat it, you could be one of the lucky ones if you just try hard enough. What's important is that you think you have a chance you could survive.
Mr. Boy's cancer is such that the best hope is that he may survive for a little while longer and retain some quality of life, two years is a coin toss, five would be incredible - not good news for a thirty-one year old. Our spiritual focus has been coming to terms with his death while trying to stay in the moment and enjoy whatever time we have. The support focused on grief and loss seems altogether inadequate. Not to say that it doesn't help, but grief is hard, and it takes time. It takes time to let go of happily ever after, to let go of the possibility of children, to let go of dreams. And incessant talk of death distracts from today. Without knowing what Mr. Boy's quality of life after chemo will be, it's hard to make bucket list plans or even regular plans. Taking joy in the now is
But we are finding strength from people who are share about their hardest moment facing terminal cancer. People who have been told similar things that we have been told, or further along when the doctors tell them there is nothing more they can do. One of the strongest stories that we grab on to is that of Superman Sam and his family. A part of my extended camp community, Sam is an eight-year-old with AML now out of treatment options. His parents blog at http://supermansamuel.blogspot.com about the experience of dealing with his cancer. I've followed their story for a while, and Mr. Boy furiously caught up with it after his diagnosis. We're members of Team Superman Sam, and we thank the Sommer family for sharing what's real about their experiences on a daily basis. Sam is in our prayers, and we think he's incredible. We hope he fills his remaining time with joy and love. Mr. Boy hopes to do the same with his.
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