Given the situation, many good wishes are being sent to U of Cers and Hyde Parkers, including messages like "thinking of you," "praying for you," "sending love your way," and, of course, the requisite "stay safe." Amidst the inundation of these posts, some U of Cers are decrying the futility (and therefore perceived insensitivity) of such offerings and directives.
There are legitimate critiques to these mostly formulaic offerings, of course. Saying "thinking of you" isn't doing anything but communicating worry. Praying or sending love or good vibes is possibly effective, at least at transforming worry into compassion, but can come off as trite or even offensive. And the stay safe directive can make it seem like you are responsible for avoiding violence in an uncontrollable situation. But while possibly not ideal, all these responses communicate that there are people who aren't colocated with you who care. They say, ultimately, I care whether you live today. I want you to live today. And I do. And whether you are a friend I hold dearly, another student trapped in your own home by a terror threat, or the person who thinks bringing a gun to campus will solve your problems, I care whether you live today. But saying it that way is likely to provoke of intensify your fear of death, which is the last thing I want to do right now.
This is not to argue that if you are afraid then the terrorists win. Someone threatened to kill you, and fear is a valid and reasonable emotion to experience in a situation like this. But fear causes the brain to increase irrational responses as well. It can produce panic and/or a fight-or-flight response. So while it is ok to be afraid, listening to and acting on your fear could put you in an unnecessarily difficult situation, which I don't want to make for you.
So be annoyed, if you must. Or exit your social media universe and take today to catch up on your reading, checking updates once in a while, to avoid the trite concern of your powerless friends, acquaintances, and lovers. But direct your annoyance properly, at the person whose threat caused the situation you're in, and at the systems which led to gun violence seeming like the best solution to end or express their pain.
Here's why I like "stay safe" for these situations. In all likelihood, you are currently safe. The word "stay" implies that; it serves as a reminder that in all this chaos, you can start by taking a deep breath and reminding yourself that as of now you are safe. If you aren't, get help and call 911 if warranted. There are actions you can take that would decrease your safety such as being on campus where there are armed Chicago police (never mind the internet-based threat), and you don't need to take them. This is not a day to organize a protest of U of C closing. People with guns might use them and the number of them on campus has increased because of the threat. Take affirmative steps for self-care to avoid crossing border from fear to debilitating anxiety. And distract yourself from your powerlessness over things you cannot control. Because today, I want you to live. The world needs you, my favorite thinkers, jokers, rabble-rousers, and curmudgeons. Learn something new today (crescat scientia, vita excolatur). And stay safe.
