Unreasonable Expectations

New York legalized same sex marriage, and religious leaders across the state had a range of reactions to the news. One of the most intriguing reactions was the reaction of the Episcopal Bishop of Long Island, who demanded that priests in his diocese in same-sex relationships needed to marry their partners now that it was legal. Otherwise they would be living in sin. There is a 9-month grace period. after which partners must either marry or the layperson in the couple must move out of church property. This is perhaps the most intriguing implication of the policy for devout practitioners.

First, not all people involved in long-term relationships want to be married. Some couples I know do want to be married but refuse to marry until the federal goverment would recognize marriage of all pairs of consenting adults. Second, I understand that the Episcopal church privileges marriage as an expression of sanctified love and a recognized family unit within the church. However, I feel that for some people who have not yet had the opportunity to consider and evaluate either the legal or spiritual implications of their marriages, to rush them into marriage, even if they are already in a long-term committed relationship. Forcing marriage in a 9-month period seems coercive to my mind, even if the overall goal is in line with Episcopal theology. Pressuring people to marry seems antithetical to any moral philosophy, and I would hope that either the grace period is extended or the church will provide adequate counseling services for both partners in these relationships.