Thoughts on Mechitzot

This year's fourth year graduates of the College at the University of Chicago were first years when I was a fourth year in college. Although I know some people who began college after my fourth year, this year's class is the last class I can say I'm familiar with. Particularly this class is the last one that I helped organize with as a student. As such, I was invited to share a last Shabbat at Hillel with one of them this past weekend. Walking out of Hillel on Saturday afternoon to go home and take a Shabbat nap (something which did not actually happen), one of my acquaintances at Hillel asked me which side of the mechitzah I would sit on if I were to attend services at Yavneh (the Orthodox minyan which meets at Hillel). I told her this is why I haven't been to Yavneh services in so long, which actually might have avoided her real question. So, in this entry I will try to explain my current thoughts on mechitzot and mechitzah minyanim.

I recognize that not all my readers, if I even have any, may be familiar with the idea of a mechitzah. A mechitzah, from the same Hebrew root as chetzi, or half, is a divider common in traditionally observant Jewish worship spaces which separates men from women during prayer. In most prayer groups that use a mechitzah, women are excluded from leading large portions of the service. Thus, the mechitzah serves to separate the uninitiated members (the women) from those initiated. Male children are allowed to sit on either side, being regarded as not-yet-initiated as opposed to uninitiated.

Ideologically and religiously I am personally opposed to such a separation. My religious beliefs necessitate an strict egalitarianism, and ideologically I am opposed to roles in the community that depend on sex or gender. Thus, my personal practice does not include worshiping in spaces with a mechitzah. I find it antithetical to my beliefs.

That said, and I might get kicked out of various progressive camps for saying this, I recognize that some people have a desire and even a religious need for single-sex and/or single-gender spaces. I recognize that having a men's side and a women's side can have a spiritual as well as a social function. However, even if women were separated but not restricted from leadership roles or counting in the quorum as they are at Yavneh, I would be bothered by the mechitzah's presence on an ideological and religious level. The existence of the mechitzah implies a binary between men and women which I do not believe exists.

Furthermore, I have a practical problem with mechitzot. I am a transmasculine thing who has large breasts and does not bind, but wears men's clothing. I read as neither man nor woman or maybe both. I would feel exceedingly uncomfortable on either side of a mechitzah. Furthermore, I feel it is disrespectful for me to sit on the women's side of a mechitzah as I do not identify as a woman. And I would probably be asked to leave most men's sides even if I decided that's where I wanted to sit.

My point is, if offered a choice of which side to sit on, I would prefer neither. I would prefer to pray without a mechitzah, as one community rather than two or even two parts of the community. This is my problem with the idea of tri-chitzah minyanim as well. Why divide the community of prayer?