Reform Judaism and Obligation(s)

The Reform Movement in Judaism has wonderful discourse about a variety of topics, and fantastic justified pride in its discourse about some.  Reform Jews are great at discussing ethics, meaning, freedom, choice, and equality.  Reform Judaism has been involved in larger discussions of racism, sexism, and homophobia.  Reform congregations talk a good game about inclusion and welcoming interfaith families, Jews-by-choice, and same-gender couples.  But we do a horrible job about discussing personal and communal religious practice and obligations.

I grew up steeped in Reform Movement formal and informal education.  I learned that Reform Judaism is not bound by halakhah the way Orthodox and Conservative Judaisms are.  I learned that I get to choose my own religious observance level based on intellectual and emotional meaning in particular observance.  I learned that if I don't find a practice meaningful, I don't have to do it.  And I learned that this process is called "choice through knowledge."  This child-friendly naming of something I've since recognized as informed consent is a great slogan and gets people to learn about religious ritual and ideas in a way they would not experience otherwise.  However, this policy unchecked allows for moral relativism in a way that most Reform Jews would abhor.

I believe Reform Judaism as a whole and Reform Jews individually have a concept of right action.  I know I do, and sometimes I do things that are not personally meaningful or fulfilling because they are right or obligated.  And these may not have been things that I have chosen to do for myself through research and trial in previous situation.  And my religion on which I base my actions has no way of talking about that.

I call my parents once a week before Shabbat.  Sometimes, I want to talk to them, but mostly, I feel obligated to tell them once a week that I'm alive and not dead and listen to what's going on in their lives.  I wish them Shabbat Shalom, and I feel yotzei on the mitzvah of honoring my father and mother even when I don't find the practice meaningful or fulfilling.  By a rubric of informed consent, I know that talking to my parents, most of the time, will frustrate me.  But I do it anyway.  And the Reform Jewish framework has no term for this, even though the experience is a common one.

We need to be comfortable talking about obligation and obligations and being obligated even outside of a halakhicly-binding framework.  We cannot resign ourselves to be so morally relativistic we have no ground to stand on.  We need to be able to speak about actions that compel us to do them as well as actions we find compelling, and we need to have a philosophical viewpoint that means something other than hedonism.

Anyway, rant over.