Uncovering My Head

I have stopped always covering my head. Almost ten years ago, in August of 2000, I started covering my head all the time in hopes of doing something active to make myself more mindful. I did this because I felt guilty. There must have been something I did or something I could have done that I didn't do to prevent my love's suicide. Recognizing that I am not at fault for her death was an important step.

In the meantime, I have been accustomed to wearing a hat or kippah all the time. However, if I am serious in my approach to Judaism, I have to be just as willing to reexamine and abandon practices that are not adequately meaningful or that I am doing for the wrong reasons as I am quick to adopt new and meaningful practices for the right reasons.

Thus, the headcoverings are coming off, at least most of the time. I still feel naked without one, but I am hoping that will pass.