On the Days I Wish I Could Forget

On the days I wish I could forget, I remember most. Sometimes I wish I could block out what happened, block out that it happened, and have my beloved back in my arms. Of course, I understand the drive to suicide better than most, but that doesn't make hers any easier to deal with. I wish that I had someone who knew my beloved, really knew her, to talk to, but no one like that exists, at least no one that I talk to anymore. Anyway, I guess the point is that I miss her, that I can't forget, no matter how hard I try, and that the truth is that I really don't want to.

Time Goes Fast, But All Too Slowly

I think back to four months ago, or even back to March, and it seems like all the events in that time period only happened within a few days, but now passing the time seems to take forever.

A Brighter Tomorrow

"Change is coming to America." - President-Elect Barack Obama, November 4th, 2008 (Chicago, IL)

Typing that is so surreal for me right now. I know that we elected him, but I find it hard to recognize all the implications. Working in Indiana, I find this victory especially meaningful, as even Indiana voted for Barack. In fact, Indiana had the second largest shift in the country, right behind Hawaii.

Anyway, more on this when I figure out what to say.

Meeting Barack

Thursday I had the opportunity to meet Senator Barack Obama in Indianapolis. What a day!

The Soul that You Have Given Me, O God, is a Pure One

I have been coming closer and closer to the line between genderqueer and transgender. At times I feel I have stepped over it, but I am not sure. For the first time, I feel confused concerning myself. Confusion is a strange state in which to be, and I don't like it.

In many ways, my life would be easier as a transman than as a genderqueer person. There would be an actual identity box, if you will, for me to live in, as opposed to the lack thereof. The answers would be ready-made, at least most of them. However, I'm not sure that simply being masculine is enough to push me over the line.

I do know that either way, I am secure in the knowledge that I am created in the divine image, but I just wish I had some answers right now.